As I mentioned before, my sister took the plunge and got married last Saturday! It was a beautiful ceremony, hopefully everything they were hoping for.
So my husband and I trekked ourselves down to California for the wedding. I was in the wedding so I carted down my bridesmaids dress, and all of the stuff that comes along with that, along with all my camera gear packed nicely in my lovely little camera bag.
Here’s the kicker though. With as much as I love my camera and whipping it out at every possible moment, I did not take any pictures of the wedding or the preparations.
What? Seriously?
On the plane rides down (we have layovers, so 4 total planes on this trip) I took lots of pictures of what I could see out the window. I took over 200 pictures.
It was almost like as soon as we landed my entire talent and confidence left me in the wake of seeing my family. I have never been really behind the camera in a serious fashion in front of my family and it was almost like I didn’t want to become a bother or have the feeling like they were rolling their eyes or being bothered by what I was doing. Last Christmas I broke out the camera for a while, but nothing too crazy, so they know I have it but maybe they don’t know how much it means to me.
I also really didn’t want to bother my sister with such a big event happening. I wanted everything to be perfect for her. Plus they hired a pair of really awesomely talented photographers to document pretty much everything from the rehearsal to the reception. (I saw some of the pictures and had a serious case of wedding photo envy, they had a beautiful style)
I attribute this whole embarrassment to a total and complete lack of confidence to show this side of myself to people that matter the most to me, my family. I know my cousin does photos (great work too) and everyone seems very supportive, so I know it’s just all the demons in my own head at work.
I actually looked up tips from other photographers on how to increase my confidence. The overall results? Take more photos. I think I just need to get over myself and try to start being more confident in what I do.
I’ve got a long way to go, but I know my confidence will grow the more I’m more open with my photography around those people who mean the most.